Wow, how do I start to write the beginning of the end of this blog??? Well, if you look back to my first post, it was the day before summer started, so I thought it would be appropriate to end it the day before summer ends, and fall officially starts. I can't really say it flew by, because so much has happened in the last three months, it almost seems like an eternity in some ways; In other ways it felt like an out of body experience, and that I just woke up from a dream, like Alice in Wonderland; Who are all these characters and where was I?
So, let's take a minute to recap what's happened. As of today's actual date, it's been 145 days since my husband of 15 years left me to move in with Bambi, but who's counting! It put me on an emotional rollercoaster like I had never been before. I mourned like there had been a death in the family. I had good days and I had bad ones. Music became my companion and inspiration to get me through the day; Writing became my tool to survive, my therapy. Without the combination of both, I'm not sure I could have made it this far, this fast. I'm not sure I meant for my life to become a social experiment of self-exploration, but it did, and I brought a lot of people along for the ride, including you...
My thesis began to take shape accidently. I was sad, lonly, bored, and in an altered mental state. Some of the things I did, even as I'm writing this, I can't believe really happened- and it's all true, even tamed down to avoid to much TMI!!! I drank too much, smoked too much, I didn't sleep enough, and I even ALMOST got arrested for a DUI, but even the officer felt bad for me, and drove me home when I told him my plight. Although I sobbed, and fell on my face in my own driveway! (God must have been looking out for me that night).
All along, the great thing was, that I had super supportive friends and family, (if you don't include my brother). One thing I did, was to take the advice of one of my best guy friends from California; He said the best way to get over someone, was to get under someone else! I took his advice literally and ran with it! I think maybe I thought I could learn to think like a guy, or at least understand them better. I'm not sure I even came close to that, but I did learn a few things about men. The main thing I learned is that guys in their 20's, and guys in their 30's and up, are worlds apart in the current generation gap. I'm not even sure guys in their 20's even want a real girl, but rather an avatar they create! They want sex, but not real sex. They take safe sex to the next level. They don't even really want to talk, less even than all men already do! They want to talk dirty, but only with a keypad, and they want to see you naked, but only in picture form, and yes, they want to cum, but you know how they take care of that! Oh, and they would gladly send you a video of that too, weather or not it's requested! I don't think they get that women don't get off on that as much as they do. On the other hand, guys in their 30's and up have come a long way in their texting, sexting, Facebooking, IMing, & Skyping, etc.; But when it comes down to it, they still want to get laid, and will actually pick up the phone and call you when they want to do so, the rest of it is to appease them in between actual sex! So, what we learned here ladies, is what we already knew- that guys think with their dick, they just go about it in different ways!
Now for my personal recap; Humm, where to begin and where to end...This blog hasn't exactly helped my love life, I'm still single, but, as my family and friends remind me, I should be, because it's only been 5 months since my husband and I broke up, and I should be having fun and enjoying myself, just be safe and smart about it. I've actually had at least 3 or 4 girlfriends tell me they have been living vicariously through me! I'm flattered they find my life so exciting. I have had a lot of fun, and some great lifelong memories. Oh, the stories I will have to tell when I am old! I got to booty dance with my 23 year old teenage dream, make love out of town to my 27 year old sexting lover; And I met two really great guys, who both have a lot of relationship potential. They are part of the reason I am ending this blog tonight. I have personally come as far as I can with this, and they don't need or deserve to read about my sexual escapades with them or anyone else. All men probably want to believe we girls are all at home waiting for them, even if the're out screwing someone else every other night, until they put a ring on it! Men have not progressed as much into the 21th Century as woman have! LOL
Anyway, if you read all the blog, you know I have much stronger feelings for one of these guys. However, my friends feel I have never given the other guy a real chance, and some are even betting that I'll end up with him! So, maybe I need to re-evaluate the situation. Hey, even girls have a weeding out process too! I havn't "been with" either of these guys in almost 2 months, but I still talk to them both. I definitly want my 80's John Cusack "Say Anything" moment, but in the 21th Century, I'll settle for a Facebook dedication and a relationship status change! LMAO
So only time will tell, but whatever happens, it will be between me and him from now on, you will be left in the dark, only to guess what happens next...
P.S. If this was truly a thesis I'm sure I would get an "A". Bahaha
Love and kisses
CC
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