Several days later I finally made it to my vacation. I had thought it would never come...I had tried so hard to hold off my breakdown until now, but as you now know, I was unsuccessful at that. It's hard to schedule a nervous breakdown! (Even for the strongest and most controling people!)
I went to my moms' house for five days to chill out and relax. My nephew was there for a court ordered visit with his grandmother, my mom. We bonded and had lots of family fun!
On Tuesday though, I had to attend a work seminar in Orlando. I text Josh several times, because it had been the day we were supposed to meet. We chatted about the things we would have done if we had gotten together! What a bunch of BS! I also texted Martin and we had some casual chit chat. However, my mind was still preoccupied with Steven. I desperately texted him several times with no response. I had pissed him off the day before. I had searched him on the internet and found some "private" information that I had confronted him with via text. Not a good idea, to say the least...
I wish I could have just pretended that I didn't know, but I couldn't. Shit. Anyhow, I pleaded for his forgivness and found a song that reminded me of him/us and played it over and over in my car on my long ride that day. I didn't know if he would ever talk to me again, but I wasn't ready to give up just yet. This man intrigued me- and I just had to have more...
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